Reverend Murad “When you open a book, the contents of the inside create the title on the outside. So when you judge a friend or a foe by their outside, remember that there is still a chapter one that led to the persons outside.” Basic Information Full Name: Dr Murad Wynrod Age: 45 Gender: Male Race: Ailor, New Regalian with a long Alt Regalian background Sexuality: Heterosexual Personal Weapon: A quarterstaff Skill Information Total Points: 20 points to be used +2 Stave Combat Skill (From points) +10 Diplomatic Case Skill (From Proficiency Points) +8 Unionist Sanktism Skill (From Proficiency Points) Body Shape Average Body Shale 2 Physical Stat (Need him higher) Low Body Fat Languages Common Alt Regalian (Parents and culture) Special Traits/Spells/Mutations Unionist Ailor Will of Hand Visual Information Eye Color: Crescent Blue Hair Color: Dark brown (From Alt Regalian background) Hair Style: Combed to the side, separated at its right Skin Color: Nice pale Clothing: A fancy put together blue shirt and fancy pants, boots Height: 6 Personality and Abilities Character Alignment: Lawful Good Character Personality Type: Advocate Character Religion: Unionism (10/10) Life Story Childhood (1 - 15) Murad was born to Jimesson and Ally Wynrod on 262 AC in Calemberg. His father was born in Regalia, while his mother was born in Calemberg. Their life was quite steady until he reached age five. His parents decided to teach him combat, and within that time, he began to use a long stick called a quarterstaff. He wouldn’t be the best at it, so his parents retired the idea. Soon enough, his mother began a more devout worshipper. Murad, seeing this, realized how beautiful the topics he heard were. What started out as a mother learning more about her Unionist faith became a dream for Murad. At ten years old, Murad was enrolled in a seminary, which he began to excel in. This school of Sancella at the Calemberg dom, known famously in Calemberg, became not only his academic success but also a place to call home. At fifteen, Murad continued to learn more about Unionism from his Seminary, Soon, he began taking more lessons with Ailor Unionist Reverends in Seminary, who taught him about Unionist Sanktism and it’s rituals. It was his dream to be just like his mentors. Middle Year’s and adulthood - 16 to 35 Murad excels in extended seminary at the calemberg dom and seeps in all of the important factual knowledge that he could. At 17, Murad becomes a curate of the faith. Doing this for many years, he excels and soon starts studying to become a full fledged Reverend. At the age of 32, Murad is titled a true Reverend of the faith, and he begins to travel to spread Unionism to many others. Returning home at thirty five, he finds that his mentors recommend him to go to Regalia and continue his duties. He listened to their advice and left Calemberg to go to Regalia. He focuses on scholarly writing and Reverency. Late Adulthood to Present - 36 to 45 Murad meets with many other Reverend in Regalia after leaving Calemberg seminary. He starts to befriend them and then soon is told about the Regalian synod. He continues to spread Unionism in the dark areas of Regalia, and remembers the idea about joining the synod. Finally, in 307 AC. at the age of 45, Murad joins the synod. That until present time. C
Parlor Magic spells do not yield magical knowledge. That is a different proficiency. You simply put points into parlor magic for the spells themselves. I'd like for you to expand on the first paragraph of your personality and abilities, and also spoiler the likes and dislikes sections as they are optional.
You should take out the descriptions of like what the section is over saves space and makes it look purty
Hello Nano_Kay, here is my review for your character: Skill Information: Please do not note your proficiency boost as normal proficiency points Body Shape: According to my calculations, you only have 40 body stat, while this is inconsequential for your body shape, please rectify this. Special Traits/Spells/Mutations: You can not have the Altalar ring and be a Witchblood at the same time, please pick one or the other. Life Story: I don't think parlor magic for Allar that are not Es-allar is common. While I do not forbid the idea I suggest replacing them with a race that practices magic more commonly. When you've made your edits, please tag me and I will take another look.
@Arendan I have made the edits, sorry for a late response. For the body stats thing, no where lists that that would damage my proficiency ability. I am only allowed to be athletic, but even if my body points are high, that wouldn’t affect it being athletic. I have made all the edits nonetheless.
@Arendan Race change to Avanthar, Witchblood infected, and a bit scraps of life story changed. Sorry for the inconvenience.
hey you may want to look at this briefly since your life story is a bit confusing on where he learned everything it sorta sounds like he learned different things from all different people when he would have learned it all in school https://wiki.massivecraft.com/School_of_Sancella i look forward to getting to meet your reverend! also for quarter staff you want Stave Combat Skill not pole @Nano_Kay
You may wish to tag this needs re-review as with the amount of changes made it’s very close to a whole new character. Happy to have more members of the clergy!-Your friendly neighborhood Nonnatean @Nano_Kay
Also Will of Holiness is a very common trait among reverends and since it is a devout Ailor Unionist I see no reason why the character shouldn’t have it.So if you want it you could grab it.
You can not write out witchblood out of your character. Please make this character an entirely new one or discard the changes.
My Review: (as Arendan is quite busy) The Proficiency Points are fairly out of wack on this app, and I don't really have a specific solution to that beyond asking you to take a second look at everything and compare it to what is available on the Proficiency section of the Wiki. Please tag me once all of the edits associated with this are completed @HeyitsNano
reread the entire proficiency page a couple things to take note of are that proficiencies cap at 20 points now unless your race/culture raises that cap and that Sanktism only goes to 8 points(iirc). Also the amount of points you have access to is your age + 5 and 10 Hobby Points. Age+5 may be used on anything but the hobby points can only be used on the arts proficiencies.
@HeyitsNano Any updates on doing the edits I mentioned, but also in listening to what Chap pointed out?