Alexander Latham

Discussion in 'Character Sheets' started by whypr, May 10, 2017.

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How'd I do for my first?

Poll closed May 15, 2017.
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  1. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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    Basic Information


    • Full Name: Alexander Flynn Latham
    • Age: 29
    • Gender: Male
    • Race: Ailor ( Seltai )
    • Main Ambition: Keeping his friends safe. The reason being that he never wants those he feels comfortable with to leave, and he always wants some sort of friendship to be able to get help from, whether emotionally or physically.
    • Special Permission: Expert Level Turrall

    • Alexander moved to Regalia after his father's passing with his mom who, just after moving, died herself. From there he ran to find some sort of shelter, where he found the school and began his learning.
    • Alexander was born to Stephen Latham and Grace Latham in Jorrhildr, but not living for long, and moving all over the archipelago. He had no siblings, and his father and mother, though however fleeting, were the only members alive in his family.
    • His secondary ambitions include happiness and love, seeing as it's a feeling he's always craved.

    Skill Information


    • School: Turrall.
    • Level: Expert level.
    • Source: Attended the school.
    Visual Information

    • Eye Color: Green.
    • Hair Color: Brown.
    • Hair Style: Cut short in the back and covering half his forehead in the front, with the front flowing to the right side of his face.
    • Skin Color: Light tan.
    • Clothing: Normal running boots, tight-fitting pants, a belt, the shirt being quite tight as well with a small satchel running across it. Also, light and thin metal gauntlets is attached to his arms for extra protection.
    • Height: 5'11.
    • Body Build: Ripped.
    • Weapon of Choice: Dual daggers, with Arming swords as a secondary weapon. He uses his daggers by avoiding and wearing out the opponent, enough to a point where he can make quick slashes and cuts, though with arming swords he tends to be more reckless, going for more slashes rather than avoidance.

    Personality and Abilities


    • First Paragraph: To any strangers, Alex is shy and cautious. He’s not sure whether they’ll be friendly to him, or just rude. It takes time for Alex to truly be confident with somebody, because he’s one shy dude. Though, to people just watching him they’d typically see a rather friendly and happy guy, mostly around friends. Just shy, really, friends he can be happy and friendly, but to strangers he’s cautious.
    • Second Paragraph: Alex believes in himself to be able to do his best, but he never underestimates anyone. Like most people would say, “Do your best.” and that’s his overall goal. For example, he’s always anxious around any body new to him, so he wouldn’t underestimate them as some dumb idiot. He’d let it all play out to see how he can adjust and edit a situation. He sees himself as somebody nice and outgoing to most, though still just shy.
    • Third Paragraph: With friends, and not family as they are all dead, he still has a perceptive hue to him, always on the watch. But he's more outgoing and cheerful to those people. Again, he’s just a shy person, so he’s much more comfortable talking with anybody he knows well, and to strangers he hardly talks, trying to figure them out. If he met a stranger, he’d take quite some time before he could really consider them as a friend, but once he can, there’d be quite a difference. Alex would go from some shy and introverted man to a really happy and outgoing man around the person.
    • Fourth Paragraph: Alex is a really true natured man, outgoing and happy to anybody he knows, good-hearted and doing his best to be as nice as possible. If somebody was to threaten a friend of his, he’d run right to the friend’s side and help them out, whether emotionally or physically. Even with strangers, if he saw them as somebody true and nice, he’d fight for them, no matter how shy or nervous he was around them. Though, to people he sees as corrupt or dangerous he’d stay away, not necessarily fighting against them, but avoiding them altogether.
    Talents

    • Turrall: His ability of Turrall is a major talent. Turrall training allows him to fight more accurately, more agile, and overall just with more finesse.
    • Observant: Alex, being a shy man, tends to pay lots of attention to his surroundings and people around him, so he doesn’t get outsmarted in some way. Especially in conversation, even with friends, he’s eyeing down the people he’s conversing with. He was taught to be observant by his father, who told him to always be on the lookout for anything, just incase the situation falls before him.
    Weaknesses

    • Injured Ribs: In his fights and training he suffered multiple rib injuries, from breaks to cracks. They’ve healed, and he can still fight, but if he was to be hit on the bottom left, Alex would go right down to the ground, screaming in pain. Essentially, his ribs are very sensitive and prone to damage. His ribs are his Achilles heel.



    Life Story

    Birth and Childhood

    Alexander Flynn Latham was born to Grace Latham and Stephen Latham on April 8th, 277 A.C. in a small little village in Jorrhildr. His father was busy for a huge portion of his infant times, so he grew up mostly with his mother, who was going through major amounts of stress dealing with Alex on her own. By the time his father was really around when he was seven and his mother had already taught him to read, write, and essentially all those elementary aspects. It wasn’t the greatest education, but it was enough to get Alex the basics, and in the future of his life he picked up things from conversation and small nitbits of education to get a real grasp of those things.


    His father thought him to be so much more, and slowly, but surely, taught him to do basic fighting. Alex learned the basics in the course of 3 years, until he was ten, but he never truly understood why he was taught. Then, just as he thought of leaving the fighting, he entered his first fistfight, where he really began to love the ‘sport’ as he thought of it, and trained harder and harder to become even more powerful.

    Teenage Years

    By thirteen Alex was gaining bruises on a daily basis. He loved fighting, but he slowly brought it to a halt as he focused more on his actual education, like reading and writing. His mother was overjoyed to hear this, and was now taking over Alex with education of motor skills. His father, quite angered at this, tried to steal him back to fighting. Their parents quarreled over what would become of Alex.


    His parents argued and argued, but still Alex was getting into fights without them knowing. Sure, he was still learning, but still fighting. He came home one day with a sprained wrist and, upon his mother seeing this, she threw a tantrum to Alex’s father which ultimately concluded with them escaping Alex’s possible doom and moving to Regalia. Though just before finishing packing and leaving, his father was murdered by an unknown to this man, in his sleep.


    His mother, now again having to deal with Alex on his own, was put under the stress again, now also having to deal with business matters and matters on her husband’s death. In an escape to leave it all, she rushed away with Alex and ran for Regalia, praying that everything would end up okay.


    But it didn’t, after a year of living in Regalia, Alex’s mother died as well. The cause was just the face of the stress she faced, as well as a disease that was affecting her heart. Still at the age of thirteen, he was at a loss of what to do.

    Adulthood

    With his mother dead, he climbed to become the strongest, following his father’s footsteps, and already being in Regalia, he needed some way to take up his father’s wish for him. He beelined to the school of Turrall after hearing about it on the streets, he saw it as the perfect chance to do what his father wanted. To pay for the school he took everything his family had, their possessions, heirlooms, anything worth value and sold it to attend. He had barely enough to have provisions and all the necessities of a normal human. He finished at expert level at the age of twenty-nine, at which point he set off to find new friends, and new enemies to escape the losses he has received as a child.


    Now, Alex runs about Regalia in search of fights, and friends, to stay happy, and live a good and long life.
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    #1 whypr, May 10, 2017
    Last edited: May 17, 2017
  2. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    Peer Review
    You have a good start here, let me see if I can lend you a hand:

    Personality and Abilities

    • First Paragraph:
      • This is a little skimpy. I can't get a good feeling of who he is outside of a cunning guy. It wouldn't hurt to try to dig some more, see how people could really see him.
      • He's deceitful and quiet, but also on the trigger for a fight? The way you explain it as well sounds as if deceitful and cunning means he'll take you down if you rub him the wrong way, which is more of a hotheaded or short-tempered trait.You seem a little all over the place here. You also seem to be focusing a lot on combat. I'd recommend expanding how people and strangers see him. What is Alex like on the outside?
    • Second Paragraph:
      • So Alexander is confident. He sees himself a good person with exceptional skill. But he's not egotistical? The former implies actually quite a bit of ego. You also once again seem eager to discuss his combat mindset again, while that's well and good, this should be more about how he feels on the inside, rather than combat capability.
      • This is another skimpy section. Try beefing it up with more sentences. How does he feel on the inside, aside from his view of his skills? What goes on inside of Alexander? What makes him tick?
    • Third Paragraph:
      • This seems fine content wise, but is still rather skimpy. Don't be afraid to expand, you can't have too much information!
    • Fourth Paragraph:
      • I can't see how he's rude and dark, but also good-hearted. From what you've laid out, he almost lacks emotion, and seems literally always in a combat mindset. In essence, he could be Chaotic Neutral, or even True Neutral. However, you seem to be sitting on the fence in regards to whether or not Alexander is a good person. I think you really need to assess more about the character throughout his personality, you lack crucial details that are needed to properly get a handle on the character. I'd revisit the entire personality, really think over the questions, really expand.
    • Talents
      • Manipulative: This seems out of character. You say he's confident and sees himself as a great man, yet he gets other people to do his work for him? Why would Alexander do this instead of doing it himself? I'd recommend either explaining this better or removing it altogether.
      • Humor: You've stated Alexander seems quiet to most people. And to others who know him, just seems cunning and deceitful. But. How is he suddenly also humorous? Why does he care? This seems to not correlate with the personality at all. I'd recommend removing this one, or expand on it/revisit his personality.
    • Weaknesses
      • Claustrophobia: How does this effect roleplay though? Will this ever really be played out, unless someone shoves Alexander into a broom closet? Try expanding just a bit on this, so you can get a better feel on how this will play into his roleplay.
      • ADHD: This really doesn't fit. He's deceitful, cunning, perceptive, quiet, an expert in a heavily brutal form of combat. Though he's jumping around and being annoying suddenly. See how this doesn't connect? It's also very hard to play these sorts of things out, so I generally like to give people the warning of that beforehand. Also note, these sorts of conditions aren't known in the roleplay world, so he'd just seems really weird to people, rather than having an actual diagnosis. I'd remove this, you don't need more than one weakness with three talents, but if you really want more weaknesses, replace it with something more on par with your vision.
    Life Story
    • Birth and Childhood
      • Education is expensive. Most commoners struggle to pay for these sorts of things, and your character was born in a very poor and backwoods part of the world. How did he receive such a good education?
    • Adulthood
      • The Turall school isn't the most expensive school out there, but still costs some money to get in. How did Alexander pay for this? With his mother and father dead, a thirteen year old can't manage a business, so where did all that money come from?
    You should really look through this application more. Carefully go through the points, it's no rush, and make sure you're really covering your character. Tag me when you've made the edits.
     
  3. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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    Thank you for the peer review.

    Those four personality and abilities paragraphs have been almost completely redone. Therefore, not bothering to mark in color.

    Personality has changed to a shy to stranger - normal to friendship thing.

    Life Story edits have been made.

    All edits that weren't the four paragraphs have been marked in red.


    @Muffins_
     
  4. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    Great job! I think the character flows much better now, and I no longer get that clunk, thrown-together feeling that I had before. I think you're better ready for a staff review now, good luck and have fun with Alex! @Kutaro
     
  5. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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    Thanks, again. I really appreciate the review.
     
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  6. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Minor Peer Review (It's too good for me to go further)
    Basic Information
    • Alex is an Expert in Turall, right? Wouldn't he use both Arming Swords and Daggers? (That is, if he can get his grubby hands on some top-quality kek- Arming Swords) Whereas this is just me nitpicking really (So you don't need to change it if you don't want to), I do think it's rather strange for an Expert Turall to not use Arming Swords.
    • His hair color is brown, yet he is a Kalmarra? This Ailor culture doesn't really fit with the faster, acrobatics-based Turall. If you want to keep him as a Northerner with Brown Hair, you may have to make him a Seltai, or a half-breed of Kalmarra and a brown-haired culture. Or even just make him New Ceardian or Ithanian, as these cultures still fit with his personality. Actually, I think that Ithanian may be a wonderful choice considering his fighting style and personality. (Or just say he dyed his hair, but I'm not 100% sure that's compliant)
    • His main ambition works per say, but it's a bit generic. I'd suggest spicing it up a bit, adding how or why he wants to protect his friends.
    Literally Everything Else
    *clicks* noice
     
  7. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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    Thank you for the peer review.

    I stayed with the daggers rather than also arming swords.

    Culture changed to Seltai. (Also changing to green eyes rather than blue.)

    Added more to the main ambition. A why portion, to be specific.

    Didn't bother to make color changes, what's different is pretty generic and obvious.

    @Masterman120
     
  8. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Still gonna suggest Arming Swords are mentioned as a training weapon, but maaaaaybe I'm just a bit pushy.
     
  9. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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    I'll put it down as a weapon of choice, more as a back-up, though.
     
  10. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    I simultaneously hate you and love you at the same time.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  11. Fatherland

    Fatherland Merchant

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    I'll be reviewing this application. Expect a response soon.
     
  12. Fatherland

    Fatherland Merchant

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    Staff Review

    • Visual Information
      • Explain how Alexander tends to use his dual-daggers and occasional arming sword in combat. You only need to utilize a sentence to do this, and ensure it's under the weapon of choice field.
    • Talents
      • Flesh out observant and explain how Alexander trained this skill or who may have instructed him regarding it.
      • Humor is moreso a character trait than a talent and tends to be subjective in-game. As such, either merge it with one of your personality paragraphs or add it as additional information.
    • Life Story
      • What inspired Alexander to join the Turall school? Given that he is of Northerne descent, most would be predisposed to becoming Skaggers or even blackmarks.
    Mark all additions / changes in blue and tag me once you're done.
     
  13. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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    Thanks for the review!

    All edits have been made in blue, except for a few things I did extra.

    I completely removed Humor. New talent is Loyalty.

    Other than that, everything you asked for was completed.

    @Fatherland
     
    #13 whypr, May 14, 2017
    Last edited: May 14, 2017
  14. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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  15. Fatherland

    Fatherland Merchant

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    Loyalty isn't a talent but a personality trait. Your other changes look fine, just remove that from your list of talents.
     
  16. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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  17. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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  18. Fatherland

    Fatherland Merchant

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    Approved.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  19. whypr

    whypr bimonthly wanderer

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    Do I need to make a registry for the Turrall?

    @Fatherland
     
  20. Fatherland

    Fatherland Merchant

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