High above the birdless sky of Crookback, the Klokktech drones made their return, with fliers galore finding themselves in piles next to rat-infested stillwaters. Well! It’s been an eventful past couple of weeks. Taxes were paid, dissenters were shot excused with authoritative action. It’s been productive overall. Government sure is a process! Governing has been an honor. We thank you all for your willingness to ‘participate’ in it. participate as contributing members of society within the borough. Anyways, some housekeeping. recent events have called for appropriate revisions of structure. ~ Dead people People who have experienced extreme authoritative punishment typically can’t pay taxes. They also can’t forment democracy. However, overt death in this locale is unacceptable at this time. You have all conducted yourselves terribly. The denizens of Crookback have frequently displayed behaviors out of line with established protocol. I am hereby sacking my entire government cabinet; if they have not been killed excused already. I’m instating a NEW Government. All instituted taxes, fines, and other such bylaws passed by the previous government have been rendered null and void. Those appointed roles are also now removed. The following individuals have been Deputized in Crookback Borough. They are authorized to shoot and extradite dissenters on sight enact appropriate punishment. They have all the rights of the old Crookback Militia. Crimson uniforms, affixable badges, or other such identifiers will be provided. Deputy Alloe Deputy Ellamae Deputy Gellun Deputy Kannilon Deputy Niell Deputy Nimaell Deputy Penny Deputy Runnam Deputy Vella Deputy Xvonn Deputy Zanna Purchase of a Deputy commission starts at 1000r plus interview. Contact myself (the Mayor) for information. Pre-Existing Laws You can be Cahal (for now). You can be Undead (for now). You can be Vampires (for now). You can be Mages (for now). Pay your debts. Especially to Crookback. It is illegal to be without a lethal weapon. Arson and setting fire to structures is illegal. Building new religious iconography (temples, statues, etc.) is illegal. Knights, Archon, and Ailred still have to wear Identification Headwear. Purple remains illegal. New Bylaws It is illegal to cross the Crookback Bridge without written or verbal permission, on pain of being shot and/or extradited. It is illegal to occupy the Crookback Bridge platform without being a Deputy. It is illegal to impersonate a Deputy. It is illegal to impersonate the Mayor. It is illegal to foment democracy or rebellious thought. It is illegal to disparage the Crookback government in any form. It is illegal to assault government workers. It is illegal to harbor rodents. It is illegal to malign birds. All laws will now come with a very simple punishment procedure: Criminals will be fined and sentenced to labor in Consolidated Crookback’s new hard labor facilities. This includes resource collection, repair of damaged structures, and of course, the manufacture of affordable appliances. Terminally repeat offenders will be shot, fined, and extradited to the City of Regalia for mental assessment (and immediate medical attention) by the Ministry of Truth. I have also elected to employ a new Patronage Ordinance. It is encouraged to wear orange! Orange jackets, in particular. Adherents will be given my appreciation, which of course is very valuable. Or you can be a contrarian idiot without any meaningful purpose in your short and miserable existence and wear more very illegal purple. That should go well for you. And finally: Terrible Citizen Awards go to: Aldon, for: Being a contemptuous asshat. unabiding to common decency. Sempronia, for: Fucking up Causing damage to my bridge, twice now! CASHED IN. General Dissenters, Democrats, and Unproductives: Redhead, Brown Eyes, Irate and Shouty, Red Sash. Crossbowman, Brown Hair, Brown Eyes. Skittish. Cahal. Blue scales. Called ‘Ira’. Archon. Wings. Green jacket, brown dress. 300r bounties exist on the aforementioned persons for the next week! Deliver to a Deputy or the Mayor for payout. Addendum, as a general note: Whoever put up those dashing posters of myself, your work is appreciated! If you wish, come collect a personal protection helmet any time as a small token of my appreciation. Enjoy your stay in Bralonatown. ‘Love’, “Crookback Command”-Delle Still Mayor of Crookback Borough This Message has been Reviewed by the Ministry of Truth.
Valenia grumbles to herself as she reads a copy of the flyer, before passing it on to the brood beside her with a frustrated huff. "Are you seeing this? Purple is STILL illegal! This city is in shambles!" @WitchenRefugee
Damian looks at this and reads one of the fliers. "Hm. Knew this was going to happen eventually. Hopefully my history and reputation with them will keep me from getting shot. Though, we shall see what comes of this. I'll have to congratulate Nimaella on the promotion and tell the others about this." With that, the weapon smith dropped the flier and departed.
Damian looks at this and reads one of the fliers. "Hm. Knew this was going to happen eventually. Hopefully my history and reputation with them will keep me from getting shot. Though, we shall see what comes of this. I'll have to congratulate Nimaella on the promotion and tell the others about this." With that, the weapon smith dropped the flier and departed.
"I AM LOSING MY SHIT. I'M LOSING IT." Kinteh cried out, genuine tears flooding down her cheeks as she scrambled about, tearing down as many fliers as she could see before tripping over a rock. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH PURPLE? Why would anyone hate such a pretty color?! AN'- An' what about my RATS! It's gettin' cold outside, I HAVE t'harbor them, Rennyn!" The woman looked over to the larger Abyssal from her fallen spot on the ground, tail flicking about with a fire of rage burning in her tear stained eyes. @Kingdom56
Sempronia SQUINTED at the flier with a blank expression. Struggling to read it with what knowledge she had. That was, until she saw her name. Her hands eagerly HOLDING the paper up proudly for all to see, “NO SHIT! DO I GET’A TROPHY NOW? SEE, look, I knew my talents would be appreciated one day!” The Avariceling screamed out, practically shoving the paper into the face of Hy’riss as she frantically pointed to ‘AWARD’ and ‘SEMPRONIA’. @GRIST_
An Asha looks at the announcement with a chuff. He chuckles bitterly, shaking his head and pointing back to it with a thumb, over a half-drunk bottle of whiskey. Grabbing a copy of the flier, he brought it with him, crumpling it up in one hand as he finished reading it. “Guess little Mx. Mayor’s gettin’ pissy that nobody’s listenin’ to a damn thing they say, funny that. Least folks have got two good role models to look up to while Crookback blusters and blunders.” The Changeling whistles on his way through the streets, finishing off the rest of his bottle with a pleasant hum. He poured out a bit of the last of his drink with a sigh, before falling comatose in the middle of an obscure alleyway.
Loxrah reads and pets her cat, “See your service in killing some rats was appreciated! They repealed that tax, rest these rules seem easy enough to follow. Who ever runs this district doesn’t matter much, when we can all still continue our work,” She shrugs, giving Glass her medicine.
Hy’riss tried their best to read the paper as it was shoved franticly in and out of their face. Finally having to reach up to take the post from Sempronia. “Yep - their sayin’ you are the best citizen in Crookback Semp. Keep up the good work.”
A Bronn picks up one of the posters while lurking about one of the quieter parts of Crookback. The equivalent of a laugh sounding off from him. His face emotionless, but his yellow eye glowed brighter with eagerness. "Well then... that simplifies things. The assistance is appreciated, C.C. Delle and Co." The Bronn proceeds to load a fresh round into his flintlock, making his way up to the rooftops once more. Planning his next move carefully.
Said 'Ira' peered over the paper with intrigue at first, then irritation, and finally absolute amusement. With a quick flick of the wrist she snatched it from the pole. "Seriously. Unproductives? We /literally/ save lives for a living. I'm surprised we're not higher on the list for simply looping the Mayor." Iranela tossed the paper over to the 'Irate Redhead'. "Guess we have more 'crimes' to commit. Wanna help slather purple paint around after I get a bite to eat? Or maybe seek out Aldon?" Seemed that she was content to gloss over the whole 'Cahal' thing, at least for the moment. @soggytoenails
The Minister of Truth massaged at her temples as she looked over the published decree. She groaned as her headache refused to relent. "No, no- why did they post it with my penned edits still marked on the page?"
Viola takes a hold of the flyer next, squinting her eyes. While it takes her a good moment or two to first read and then comprehend what was written, she snorts at the Isldar's words. "... Sure, hun. Bannin' purple ruins everythin'. I'll try t'negotiate somethin' for ya." Her words are half-hearted. The flyer is crumpled and tossed over her shoulder with visible amusement on the brood's face. @Saaber
Tom peered over the woman's shoulder, a shiny new Reality Enforcers Badge on his chest. He chuckled, amused by the situation. Gothi squinted at the paper, not knowing who or what was 'Crookback'. The Elder peered up and down, trying her best to decipher - before reacting to the 'no birds' rule. "No DUCKS?! Gothi shall complain!" The old woman shuffled off. Yala groaned with frustration, "No purple?! What did purple ever do to you?!"
Sirtha's sharpened blade tears slowly through the paper, shredding it into small pieces. "No, Crookback.. You were better than this. You were meant to be an escape from authority." She sighs and scatters the shreds of the notice into the wind, rising to leave.
