Character Inforamtion Full Name: Kilrak Morias Dusirand Race: Kathar (Cult of Power) Age: 46 Gender: Male Eye Color: Black Core Concept Born to a mother and father who were part of the Cult of Power, Kilrak quickly learned magic. As he grew, he started to despise his cult and escaped to join the Cult Of Reason. There, he practiced magic and other skills . Although being a Kathar he was still drawn to wealth, he decided to set out to make a fortune, while using magic when he had to. Proficiencies •Physical: 1 Blade Pack • Constitution: 1 Light Shield Pack • Wisdom: 4 Heks Wisdom Pack Affliction Wisdom Pack Volacrum Wisdom Pack Bentyia Wisdom Pack •Dexterity: 1 Parkour Pack Magic (Void): 5 Wind Magic Pack Void Magic Pack Mythic Magic Pack Water Magic Pack Fire Magic Pack •Charisma: 2 West Linguist Pack Husbandry Pack Abilities Control Counter Frisit Gift 1 Kathar Binding 1 Magic Sight 3 Sariyd Gift 4 Omniaware Primal Sight 1 Meraic Will 3 Emotion Sense 1 Memory Sense 1 Morrlond Gift 2 Void Storage Languages Common (free) Katharian (native) West Linguist Pack Appearance Short Black Hair, Can change eye color as a result of a void mutation but eyes are normally black, Grey Skin, Ornate Black and Grey Robe Life Story •Childhood: Kilrak was born to Kathar parents both high ranking members of the Cult of Power, and learned magic at a young age •Adolescence: Kilrak’s disgust to his heritage grew and he decided to escape to join The Cult of Reason •Early Adulthood: During his time there he learned new magics and skills like farming •Regalia: Over time Kilrak’s desire for riches grew as his race is naturally greedy and he decided to head to Regalia wielding his magic to seek fame and fortune
Hi there! I'll be reviewing your application. General Include the headers such as Character Information, Core Concept, Proficiencies, etc. in your application. It helps with easily categorizing what information goes where. Your character has no afflictions that would give him red eyes, so you cannot have red eyes. Look at the bullet I reviewed for Character Information to choose which eye color your character has. Character Information Specify which Kathar Cult Kilrak belongs in under Race. Proficiencies There is no such thing as Agricultural Knowledge Point Buy, History Knowledge Point Buy, or Geography Point Buy. Remove this from your application. As a side note, you can only invest in the packs that are written. You cannot create your own packs. Draconic Magic Point Buy doesn't exist, unless you mean the packs from Mythic Point Buy (https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Mythic_Point_Buy). Specify whether your magic comes from the Void or Exist as shown on the character application template. There is no such thing as a Katharic Language Point Buy. Listed below are the packs that you can choose from. This concludes my review. If you have any questions, ask them through a forums conversation or a Discord RP-com ticket. When you make these edits, change their text color so that they are easily viewable. Once you have made all of these edits, tag me in a post reply so that I can read your application again.
Nice. Black eyes can only be a feature as a result of mutations (https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Mutations), so I'd like for you to just add a bullet saying his black eyes are a result of his mutation under Appearance Information. I had missed it earlier, but Husbandry Point Buy is a charisma proficiency point buy, so you would have to move it there. However, you only have 1 point in charisma, so you may have to tweak your points if you want to keep that pack. It slipped my mind that you should add a Languages section to your application. It helps keep track of which languages your character speaks, and it could be used for progressions if you intend on going on any of them. That should be it. I like the character, and keep up the good work; make the same changes to the above points like in my first review. After that, your character should be good as approved.
Everything looks good, although you have an Arcane Wisdom Pack which doesn't exist. Approved, but remove that/replace it with something that exists in the Point Buy list (https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Proficiency#Point_Buy).
