Basic Information. birth name: Liciphia Larcarse Alorian/common name: Lucille La’rose Age: 25 Gender: Female Race: Oscithar Kathar ・・・・✪・・・・✪ ・・・・ Skill Information. 50 total points Proficiency. 5 Swords (+ 5 invested) 10 body care training (+5 invested +5 racial boost) +5 perception training Art Category. 5 dancing art (+5 hobby) 5 Musical instrument (+5 Hobby) 5 theater art (+5 invested) Point Buy. 21 Sorcery (+21 invested) +3 roguery (rogue gift 4) (6 points left for learning in the future) Body Shape 17.5 Physical Stat Athletic body type Average Body Fat Languages Common (free) Kathar Altalar (Birth Language) Ithanian (Learned) ・・・・✪・・・・✪ ・・・・ Special Traits/Spells/Mutations. Base Kathar abilitiesKathar Binding 1- Kathar Binding 2- Arken Sense 1- Arcane Mastery 1- Oscithar Kathar abilities-Servitile Collar 1- Exist Counter 1- Selected Kathar abilities-Spirit Curse 1- Empath Sense 1- Crimson Witch Abilities-Arken Sense 1- Arcane Mastery 1- Inth Gift 3- Mind Wall 2- Magic Sight 3- Mind surge 4- Sorcery skill 1- Darkness 4- Darkness 5- Darkness 6- Abyssal body 1- Abyssal body 2- Alternate appearance: Ailor female, with blonde hair, fair skin, and green eyes, about 5,8 in height, with a toned body and average body fat. disgueses herself as an Ithanian called rose Bought Sorcery Skills (18 points used)-Dark curse 2 (3 points)- The user can Target any individual in Emote Distance, causing the Target Curse to take instant effect. The Target’s mouth becomes filled with shadows, leaking out of the corners of their mouth and their nose if they try to open their mouth. This Curse makes them unable to speak, only garbled noises and warped sounds will come from their mouth. This Curse remains active for 24 hours, and has a 24 hour Cooldown also Element Control 4 (3 points)- The user gains a number of utility functions. Their hands (and hands only) become immune to damage, meaning normal weapons can no longer cut, pierce or slash them (Artifacts and Mythics still can). Additionally, they may grab hold of a weapon and Curse the weapon with brittle-ness or melt the sharp edges, which only has the effect of halving the damage done. This is an Object Curse that will last for 30 seconds and cannot be stacked but can be refreshed. None of these smaller functions have Cooldowns. power curse 3 (3 points)- The user can cast Power Curse 3 once per hour on a single individual. When affected, the Target’s left or right arm (depending on the choice of the user) becomes constricted by some form of constraint. This constraint lasts for 30 seconds, and completely disables the use of that limb for the duration as it remains rigid and unmoveable. After the 30 seconds are over, the limb is usable again and the constraints melt away. Darkness 2 (3 Points)- The user can cast this Magic spell at a Target with a projectile that is a guaranteed hit as long as there is line of sight. When hit, the Target becomes affected with Magical Blindness (requiring the player to use /trait add Blindness) for the duration of 30 minutes. Only one Darkness II may be active at any time, and when the effect is broken on the first target, only then does the Ability go on a 2 hour cooldown. If Darkness 2 was cast, another user may not cast Darkness 2 in the same Emote Area as the first for a full hour. Magic bolt 1 (3 points)- he user can produce a magical projectile traveling in a linear path from their casting point to their target. One projectile per cast can be produced, and all projectiles are the same in terms of their size, appearing about the size of a baseball, speed, and functionality. The orb will hit its intended target if the Sorcerer rolls above an 5 on a /dice 20. This spell can only be cast once every 30 seconds. Magic Bolt 1 does the same amount of damage as a sword slash or stab (similar to Heavy Bow). This projectile applies as a Heavy Shot for Shielding Combat blocking. The aesthetics of this Ability are not limited to elements, they may also extend to blood, flesh, metal, wood and more. Two users of Magic Bolt 1 using the Ability at roughly the same time at each other enter a Spell Duel, in which their Bolt becomes more like a constant stream of bolts, Channeled where the users wrestle for power. Each must do /dice 0 20 per round with the highest number winning that round causing the stream to be pushed more towards the enemy. The first to win 3 rounds in a row wins, causing both Magic Bolts to hit the loser for double damage, and Knocking them back by 3 blocks. Prematurely leaving the Channel also counts as losing. Both are still able to walk at a slow-walking pace while Channeling, but must remain aimed towards each other, with their arms channeling a stream of Magic Bolt I at each other. Super Self 1 (3 points)- Upon being physically harmed by any Mundane Attack or Ability, or upon hitting another person with any of these, the Character triggers a battle-state. When battle-state is activated, anyone within 2 blocks of the person is knocked over, while the person’s appearance may change with a wide variety of non-identity altering aesthetics including but not limited to: steaming skin, flaming eyes, electrified hair, increased vascularity, darkening of the eyes and sockets, shreddings skin, colored glow, and other visuals of rage and battle. While Super Self is active, the Character gains +5 Physical Stat. True Path 1 (3 Points)- The user is able to begin a charge or running speed in a particular direction. Once reaching a particular block, they may activate True Path 1 to scatter their body into a large cloud of non-harmful smaller objects, or flora, or critters, and continue traveling in the same direction as they were running. This allows them to continue moving for up to 10 blocks at sprinting speed, allowing them to pass through any hole, crack or opening. This can be to for example, float through a guard formation, a door, a wall of spikes, etc. After traveling 10 blocks, the character re-manifests, this Ability cannot be ended early, unless met with a solid wall without openings. This Ability has a 15 minute cooldown. Dark curse 1 (Sorcery skill 1)- The user can Curse a person with Dark Curse 1 to make them forget the faces and voices of people they have heard for the past 24 hours. In order to use this Ability, the Target must be restrained or knocked out, and be unable to resist or fight back. Once applied, for a full 24 hours (or shorter, if desired by the user), the Target will forget all faces and voices of the people they interacted with before the use of the Ability. If they try to remember, all the silhouettes and faces of the people they interacted with will appear like black shadows, and their voices will sound monstrous and warped, though they will still remember what was said, what the areas they visited looked like, and other visual aspects. Even though this is a Curse, its effect is applied immediately, and cannot be reversed afterwards in any way. Those with Target Curse Immunity or Memory Altering Prevention are Immune to the effects of this Ability. Arcanology (3 points used)-Arken Knowledge (3 points) ・・・・✪・・・・✪ ・・・・ Visual Information. Eye Color: Black eyes speckled with red Hair Color: dyed white with red tips Hair Style: Medium length, well groomed Skin Color: dark greyish brown Clothing: extravagant Height: 5'10 Personality Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Personality: INFP- A Religion: Follower of Odella ・・・・✪・・・・✪ ・・・・ Life Story. Lucille was born to a kathar family who heavily isolated themselves. their family trained lucy from a young age to be a spy and knowledge seeker, training her in magical arts, swordplay, and roguery and perception skills. they kept her in well shape with this training, as well as keeping her educated, teaching her languages like common and Ithanian to help her blend in. To further her abilities, she was brought into the Cabal of crimson witches by her parents, who where abyssals themselves. within this cabal she learned new was of channeling her magic, by manipulating her shadow and the darkness around her into spells. she also took to studying the arcane, with a particular intrest in curses. Wanting to focus more on her studies she left her parents and dove deeper into the cabal, making her own friends and connections. she then traveled to Regalia, hoping to make new friends and learn more about the world from first hand experience, choosing to primarily defend herself, she occasionally gets into fights due to her hard headedness, but is also willing to do anything to further her research or to defend her friends. Even kill.
@Lizmun Sorry, Didn't want to be rude and @ you but I was wondering if you could check over my app, I get ur probably busy but just asking for whenever you get a chance, thanks!
@ethqn___ Hello! Apologies for the long delay, I wrote this up but haven't had the time to send it. Here's your review! Basic information - Lucille La'rose isn't at all a Kathar, or even altalar-adjacent, name. It sounds very Ailor, especially Ithanian. I'd like you to justify why your character has this name. - 17 is ULTRA young for an elf, especially one who has an affliction that requires them to basically be indoctrinated into a cabal / cult. I deeply recommend aging your character up, preferably to mid to late twenties since that'd put them in roughly 'late teens' equivalent for an elf, 17 is extremely young for a race that lives to over 200 - 300 easily.Skill Information - You say you have 18 sorcery but it's listed as 21 spent in the blurb right after. Fix this. - List unused points, please - Please include a stat calculation. - I have a minor issue with your sorcery spread. You're fine to take many spells as an Abyssal, but, almost every spell you've taken is a combat or conflict involved spell. I'd have no issue with this is if didn't have such a high investment in swords. Your character is almost exclusively combat based, and since they're an abyssal, they get a ton of extra abilities tacked on to an expansive sorcery layout plus high melee weapon use. I want you to do one of three things. > Remove some sorcery spells and reallocate them into a non combat and non ability gaining proficiency > Replace some combat spells with other non-conflict utility or aesthetic spells > Reallocate swords proficiencies so that you have 5 or less melee / combat based proficiencies. To sum it up, I want you to choose to be a magic heavy combat build, a melee/mundane combat heavy build, or to nerf your magic some.Visual Information - I believe Oscrithar can only have Black hair, since it describes them as very visually similar to Finu'ellen, which exclusively have black hair. Clarify if your character's hair is dyed. - Also include the red hair tips in your character's hair description.Personality - You claim that your character is an Odella follower despite specifically stating in your character's life story that they 'Wanted nothing to do with (this)' in reference to your character abandoning their induction into Odella's cult. Add a rating to your character's faith, out of ten.Life story - Why was your character's family so reserved and secluded from society? Oscrithar are very proud people, and play a very important role in Kathar culture and politics. I don't see a good reason why an Oscrithar Kaahl would seclude themselves, and while Crimson Witches may be secretive, they're not exactly seclusionary nor antisocial. Please provide some context or reasoning on this point of the life story. - Abyssalhood is not something that is inherited through family, and can't be 'awoken' through a ring like other afflictions, such as Silvenism, can be. The ritual for becoming a Crimson Witch is very deliberate, and is done by the witch themselves rather than being performed on them by another. So, in short: It's something they CHOOSE to become, and it can't be forced on them. Your character's backstory makes no sense in this regard, as it revolves around the rejection of the Odella cult and her parents and trying to find her own way in life when in reality a Crimson Witch would have gone through years of induction into a cult and likely wouldn't have been turned into a Crimson Witch if they were so ready to reject Odella. You have a lot of changes you need to make, but I am not going to reject you. Since you are a newer player, I am willing to offer help and advice on any edits you need to make, as right now I think you will at least need to make a few core edits to your character's design to make it viable.
@Lizmun did some changes, added some little details and realocated my points, also completely rewrote the backstory, let me know how it looks
@ethqn___ I believe there was a miscommunication on my part, I apologize. The reason I asked for the proficiency changes was to nerf your kit. I do not think being heavily magic and heavily combat orientated was sustainable for a kit and was stacking far too much power on a character who was already ultra capable as a witch sorceress. All your other changes are fine, however, it was not my intention for you to add other ability baring proficiencies to your kit. My particular instance in this case are Perception and roguery. Please justify your additions to me, and if I do not find them necessary to the character's design, I'll ask you to remove them.
