Shelved Character Alduir Stormblade

Discussion in 'Character Sheets' started by FeatheredBlade, Dec 26, 2020.

  1. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    Character Information
    • Full Name: Alduir Stormblade
      • Birth Name: Aldair Tempetyr
    • Race / Culture: Breizh Ailor
    • Age: 26
    • Gender: Male
    • Occult: Godmagic Paladin
    Core Concept
    A Knight of the Faith, an Elen worshipper and a Villiers-Eclaire, the man is the epitome of grace and stoicism. Briezh customs stew beneath Unionist colors and shining armor, but the Knight is very much Regal in all aspects.

    Appearance Information
    [​IMG]

    Proficiencies
    • Strength: 5
      • Technique Parry
      • Knockback Sweep
      • Battle Flurry
      • Diving Tackle
      • Unyielding Strike
    • Constitution: 2
      • Shield Block
      • Shield Wall
      • Shield Slam (Ailor)
    • Wisdom: 0
    • Dexterity: 0
    • Magic: 0
    • Faith: 7
      • Divine Defense
      • Divine Blessing
      • Divine Wrath
      • Divine Aura
      • Divine Savior
      • Sacred Healing
      • Sacred Revive
    Languages
    Breizh, Altalar, Sulvaley, Skodje, de'ithanie.

    Life Story / Plot Hooks
    • The Knight speaks with a very thick Briezh Accent, but is well-versed in many other languages.
    • He's never been seen with his helmet off, and rumors have spread.
    • A faint aura of radiant peace surrounds him, like the sanctity of a chapel.
    • He typically wears a heavy cloak, even in the depths of summer heat.
     
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    #1 FeatheredBlade, Dec 26, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2023
  2. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Claimed for review.​
     
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  3. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  4. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn
    After hours of play, re-worked combat style, edited weaponry inventory, changed backstory to fit the updates, changed union blessing, gave him an inch of height because he's still young and growing.

    Just general updates after getting a feel for the character, marked for re-review.​
     
  5. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  6. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn Hi, it's me again, aged up few years for union blessings and calvary purposes

    List of changes:
    Aged up to 33
    Added Union blessing x2
    Swapped Perception for General Command (because you need 10 perception for anything useful)
    Shielding Combat for Calvary Purposes
    Added Languages (Parental)
    Added Ambience and Combat Themes (Aesthetics)
    Added personal creed under Personality (Aesthetic)
    Slightly Adjusted backstory to fit the aging up
     
    #6 FeatheredBlade, Feb 10, 2021
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2021
  7. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    Alrighty @fantuinn

    Archan Nerf leads to major character rework, lemme go down the list.


    List of Changes:
    Aged to 35.
    Changed lineage from Archan to Brannon
    Yeeted the two handed sword.
    Turned the guy into a one man testudo, complete rework of all combat skills.
    Phys cap raised to 35
    Aesthetic image changes
    Minor backstory edits
    Cleaned up some of the listing

    As always, let me know if anything is fucky. Marked for Re-Review.​
     
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  8. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    Sigh
    It's reworked
    Replaced talent with two schools, and a language.
    Nothing else is changed from last edit.
    @fantuinn
     
  9. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    @AshenRoman One handed sword doesn't need to be specified. Rectify this and I'll approve it.
     
  10. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    fixed!
     
  11. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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  12. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  13. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Pulling back into review. This lifting weight shouldn't be lifted at all, shouldn't be used in RP at all, and on top of this is generally absurd. Please remove this.
    Additionally, remove the image above the Life Story. It's a little too bloody.
     
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    #13 fantuinn, Jun 13, 2021
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2021
  14. HydraLana

    HydraLana The Very Gay Walking Talking Lore Encyclopedia Staff Member Lore3

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  15. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @HydraLana

    Haven’t had a chance to even sit down at my desktop this week. Busy season for HVAC, I didn’t get home tonight until 15 minutes ago. Hopefully I’ll be able to fix it Sunday, I’m on call Saturday.
     
  16. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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  17. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Weight shouldn't be listed on applications in general, please remove this.
     
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  18. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn Rectified.
     
  19. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  20. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn

    prof rework v3

    changed his lineage, adjusted his profs to be spread out more so he wasnt just a combat focused nerd, and had some use outside swinging a spear really hard

    visual information updated, minor backstory tweaks

    should be in line, @ me if something's fucky

    marked for re-review
     
  21. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  22. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn Hate to do this to you chief, been bouncing around on a ticket about a complete re-do of everything about the character, so standby for another one of these. Many apologies, just giving you a heads up.
     
  23. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn

    Alrighty, done finally. After a long ticket with wump to avoid powerstacking abilities and ensuring everything is up to par with how I want the character to sit, I present, hopefully, the final rework of this character unless some major update.

    Appreciate the time, as always, let me know if something's fucky, appreciate it man.
     
  24. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    @AshenRoman Only requesting you change the ability format from every ability being listed in a spoiler to his abilities being in a bullet point list. You can save the descriptions to an external document if you need easy reference.
     
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  25. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn done and done!
     
  26. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn Poke, it's almost been a week, is something wrong?
     
  27. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  28. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @fantuinn

    Re-worked with new profs to match new goals for the character, changed template format.

    Marked for re-review.
     
  29. Yurs

    Yurs real life catgirl

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    Claimed for staff review! Expect a reply shortly
     
  30. Yurs

    Yurs real life catgirl

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    Looks good! Love the lightning paladin aesthetic

    APPROVED
     
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  31. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    Thank you!!

    I have plans with this rework, so I'm glad to see you like it.

    Have a great night!

    @Yurs
     
  32. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @Yurs

    hi. Aesthetic changes. Minor point moving because pathfinding went poof without me realizing. Marked for re-review in case.
     
  33. Yurs

    Yurs real life catgirl

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    Howdy! There's just a few edits that need to be made before I can go ahead and approve again:
    • You currently have an excess of 50 Core Points invested. Additionally, some investments are listed differently (such as Caster Ranged being marked as 15 and 12). Please double-check this section and ensure the math is correct.
    Once you've gone ahead and made the necessary changes go ahead and tag me again for another review!
     
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  34. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    Fixed! @Yurs

    the extra 5 core were supposed to be HS2, my bad.
     
  35. Yurs

    Yurs real life catgirl

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    No worries! Everything looks good now :D

    APPROVED
     
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  36. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    Absolute chad. Tysm.
     
  37. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @Yurs

    Hi. I just changed Vocal Arts to Construction, no other points were swapped. Tagged because it was 15 points.
     
  38. Yurs

    Yurs real life catgirl

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    Looks good! Your sorcery investment is 15, but it says 12 core beside it. Please go ahead and correct that after approval.

    APPROVED
     
  39. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    One of his spells is free due to racial! But thank!

    @Yurs
     
  40. FeatheredBlade

    FeatheredBlade Local Imperial Knight Supremium

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    @Yurs

    Edits made due to racial changes to specialties gave him a pet.

    Marked for re-review just to be sure.

    Changes in Blue.
     

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