Modgura

Discussion in 'Character Sheets' started by Deusphage, Dec 28, 2020.

  1. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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    Character Information
    • Name: Modgura
    • Race: Sang Allar
    • Age: 41
    • Gender: Female Presenting
    • Eye Color: Rapturous Cerulean
    Core Concept
    • Modgura was an aspect of nature that was failed to be tamed by humankind. Formerly untouched by the taint of mankind, their sudden introduction left them vulnerable to the most abominable.
    • Pious to Ghilland, Herder of Treasured Beings. Though devout to flaw thanks to their affliction, they do not shame those who do not hold their beliefs.
    Proficiencies
    • Strength: 7
      • Heavy
      • Demolisher
      • Pursuer
      • Frenzy
      • Brutalist
      • Fisticuffs
      • Breaker
    • Constitution: 4
      • Counterplay
      • Resilience
      • Bruteforce
      • Ironheart
    • Wisdom: 0
    • Dexterity: 1
      • Parkour
    • Magic: 1 (Exist-Based)
      • Breaking
      • Puppeteer (Cahal)
      • Infection (Cahal)
      • Parasite (Cahal)
      • Feral (Cahal)
    • Charisma: 1
      • Linguist
        • Common
    Techniques
    • Cahëllon Specials
    • Knockback Sweep
    • Force Smash
    • Leaping Charge
    • Berserker Fury
    • Disarming Strike
    • Unarmed Expert
    • Brawl Stampede
    • Rage Counter

    Abilities
    • Cahëllon Abilities
    • Ailment Immunity
    • Chemical Insight
    • Omniaware
    • Limb Recovery
    • Social Insight
    • Domestic Insight
    • Waterborne
    • Break Enchant
    • Power Curse
    • Debilitating Bite
    • Empowerment
    • Body Claws
    Specials
    • Accursed Heartbeat
    • Accursed Fall
    • Possession
    • Cursewalking

    Languages
    Common (Linguistics)
    Pidato (Native)

    Appearance Information
    • Modgura stands about 200 centimeters tall and has a distinctly teal-ish skin tone. Their face possesses the armored plates characteristic of primeval fish, but has an unquestionable selachian quality.
    • Modgura becomes a bizarre fusion of hadopelagic life. Covered in bioluminescent speckles and built-in weapons to kill, they are an abhorrent child of the unfathomable depths of the ocean.
    Life Story
    • Modgura was born as another dreaded creature of the sea; a thalassic predator concealed beneath the fathoms of scenic tides and azure.
    • Modgura was tailored to live in the sea, and so it was the sea seemed to live through them. The furtherances of society had little value, so distant from other Sang, who even themselves were distant from other Allar. What was the point in seeking happiness through the manufactured when life already had satisfying definition? On one peculiar day, however, Modgura found themselves entangled in a vessel's fishing net. Pulled aboard, they were recognized as no animal. Instead of returning to the water, however, they adopt the mannerisms of the men aboard the ship. They dress in their clothing, and attempt to learn their language. Just as the sea had shaped the sailors, it was as if the sailors had shaped a part of the sea.
    • Yet, when the ship returned to land, an illness begun to befall the Allar. A lapse in memory couldn't tell them how exactly it came to be, but it had brought a baleful change in Modgura. What they once believed to be their immutable self had been altered by an outside force, and it would only take time to see what it would blossom into. Sure enough, when the time came for the vessel to return to sea, it passed the haar of fog with Modgura and crew, and never returned.
     
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    #1 Deusphage, Dec 28, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2022
  2. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Claimed for review.​
     
  3. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    @Deusphage You can only have one racial boost. Pick one, remove the rest.
     
  4. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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  5. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  6. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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    @fantuinn Modified with ranged proficiency update & direction I wanted to take the character. No longer funny faithless creechur.
     
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  7. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Remains approved.​
     
  8. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    @Deusphage It has been brought to my attention this character is designed as a crocodile. This is not allowed for a Mai-Allar. Please specifically clarify on your application what animal your Mai-Allar is designed around.
     
  9. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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    Was called "The Crocodilian" because the initial idea of the creature was that it was a sewer crocodile, however the aesthetic was never actually related to crocodiles at all. Changed to be Catfish, namely as an excuse to use vibrissae more in sentences
     
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  10. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Re-Approved.​
     
  11. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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  12. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    @Deusphage Spoiler the likes and dislikes. Remove about 3 of your taken abilities, as the sheer amount of them + the amount of combat proficiencies you have seems like far too much. Also consider lowering the amount of mutations, the sheer amount you have right now is a little ridiculous.
     
  13. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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  14. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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  15. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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    the foul creature returns because sometimes i have the feminine urge to roleplay incredible violence
     
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  16. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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    @fantuinn Basically everything changed (point spread, abilities, techniques, the whole shebang) because this sheet was old & crusty
     
  17. ezalB

    ezalB Student of Hydration Supremium

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    Hey. I know you. Re-review!!
    Allar naming customs were updated significantly since you last played this character, and I would consider editing this character's name to fit. This is a good list of names to work off of, though Behind The Name also has a myriad of Balinese/Javanese/Indonesian names you can pull from. If you do go to Behind The Name, I would avoid anything with Turkic/Muslim/mainland Asian connections, bar Sanskrit which is the Slizzar language equivalent, and thus makes some sense for Allar to have had influenced their by. On a quick glance, the name "Sulastri" is remarkably similar to the name you've got now, though "Satriono" might be more fitting given the creaturing nature of this creature. Ultimately up to you if you change it though, but it's something I'll definitely recommend.
    I'll ask you expand on this a little bit, just to describe the character a little more. Motivations, religion (Ghilland most likely), reason for Cahal-ness, etcetera. Who is you?
    I assume that the Breaking Magic Pack is Exist sourced magic because Cahalism, but clarify that here incase they ever get cured, ie (Exist) in parentheses. Also, it wouldn't hurt to put (Commutable) in parentheses next to your Commutable Point Buy, just for ease of viewing.
    Only other thing I'll ask is that you add a little bit more onto their non-Cahal description, clothing, tail, head shape, teeth, etcetera. Pureblood Sang can look like orcas, tiger sharks, dunkleosteus, or great white sharks- and a mix of each afterall.

    Regardless, everything else looks OK. Mark whatever changes you make in blue and @Tag me when you're all set!
     
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  18. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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    @ezalB
    what the hell!!!! stinky !!!??!

    I forgot that Cahal and Vampires are polarities, with Cahal being hyper religious!!!

    changes have been made!
     
  19. ezalB

    ezalB Student of Hydration Supremium

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    Muhahahahaha. The creature becomes a servant of THE GODS.

    Just one thing that I might've missed before.
    Which Linguist pack?
     
  20. Deusphage

    Deusphage i am a girlboss i am a war criminal

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    I invested points into linguistics to pick up Common instead of taking it for free
     
  21. ezalB

    ezalB Student of Hydration Supremium

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    Ahh. Purchasing languages is done with packs of groups of languages now, instead of one by one or into any special 'Linguist' proficiency. IE the South Linguist Pack contains all the languages to the south of Regalia which you can have your character proficient in to whatever degree you feel, the North Linguist Pack, the East Linguist Pack, so on and so forth. You could simply have your point in Charisma without investing anything to sort of represent that Modgura spent some time learning Common, to be honest. I'll say it's fine to keep it as-is since it's mostly aesthetic, but just keep that in mind that you haven't technically invested or spent your Charisma point, so you could still go ahead and buy another pack if you wanted to. Like Pet Husbandry. Creature, but creature has a cute cat?

    Re-approved.
     
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