Name Yansa Cherokee Vospiscus - Fayden Alias Maiyun Fayden [Not in use] Ahyoka Suhi [Active] Age 80 Gender Female Race Fin'ullen Altalar Preferred Weapon Wooden Stave Total Points 50 + 10 Hobby Combat Category + 8 Fist Combat Skill +9 Stave Combat Language Point Buy Category +3 Linguistic Science Category +15 Alchemy Art Category +10 Vocal Art Body Category +10 Bodycare Training (+5 Racial Boost) Age Control 1 +10 Hobby Points + 10 Theatre (Hobby) Physical Stats 27 Body Stat (Capped at 25 ) +10 Theatre x .5 + 10 Bodycare x .5 + 8 Fist + 9 Stave = 27 (CAPPED AT 25) Body Build Athletic Body Fat Low Body Fat Common 7/10 Modern Altalar 10/10 Kathar Elven 6/10 (Point Buy) (Learned from her husband and friend.) Spoiler: Uthurren Bloodline Spoiler Spoiler: Halfbeast Shift Yansa takes on the usual half woman half beast stature, yet her hair becomes a bit more longer and slightly ragged, as well as the 'sideburns' along her face are now visible - thanks to werebeastism. Spoiler: Beastmode Shift She takes on a bipedal white furred shift, her eyes changing from her normal blue to the usual silver. Yansa has a few scars that line her back, as if she recieved lashings and the like. Loyalty of the Uthurenn Loyal Empathy - The Werebeast is able to sense the emotions of a person by touching them, which is an ability that cannot be turned off, sometimes resulting in sensory confusion. This cannot be used to tell a lie, but does give an accurate reading on the emotional state of whoever they share physical contact with. This ability is powerful enough to allow the Werebeast to sense their emotional pain, and even make them able to absorb a part of it, reducing the suffering of the other person. Howling Call - The Werebeast is able to produce a wolf-like howl that can be heard all over Regalia (even in the sewers) that notifies all other Uthurenn Werebeasts of their exact location. This Ability can be used once every hour. Prowl of the Fox Shadow Prowl - The Werebeast gains +5 Proficiency in Stealth Rogue. This cannot break the Proficiency limit. If the Werebeast is already at 10 Stealth Rogue, they instead gain an additional re-positioning saving grace (the same that is applied to 10 Stealth Rogue), so that they may reposition twice instead of once. Howl of the Hyena Bound Tracking - The Werebeast can track a person anywhere within 1 hour of having tasted their blood, or drained their Soul Essence. The Werebeast must consume the blood either freshly from the person, or within 15 minutes of it being shed for this ability to function. This tags the target as Tracked for the duration of the Ability. Violence of the Sabrewolf Teeth of Steel - The Werebeast can enchant their teeth, causing them to be indestructible, and if clenched down on something, can bite through metal to the strength of chain armor and even break swords (though not bars or beams). Enchanting or removing the enchant is instant, and has no cooldown. If the Ability is Countered, it is put on a 10 minute Cooldown. Enduring Hunt - The Werebeast does not have any fatigue loss, meaning they can continue to train, fight and run for as long as they please. This also prevents any forced fatigue or tiredness mechanics caused by other spells or abilities, and also protects against forced-sleep mechanics. Eye Colour Light Blue Hair Colour Black (alchemy induced) Skin Colour Tan Clothing Second picture shown above Height 5'8" Character Alignment Chaotic Neutral Character Personality Defender Character Religion Old Gods (10/10) Spoiler: Personality and Abilities. Yansa will mess with her clothing when she is nervous, along with twitching her nose when lying. She is an excellent cook for her age, but sadly, not a chef. She's pulling herself up to that stage, however. Likes Family Cooking Exploring Dislikes Strangers Threats against her family and Pack Spoiler: Relationships Love Tonybones | Velruin Savorn Family Mother Femboiizem | LavenderBay Vopiscus Father MidnightRey | Tanicius Speratus Vopiscus Siblings Diaprit | Morrighan Skadi Vopiscus Jenevieve| Narha Vopiscus Yansa Vopiscus was born to Lavender Bay Vopiscus and Tanicius Speratus Vopiscus into the Undying Souls Pack, along with her two sisters, Morrighan Skadi Vopiscus and Narha Vopiscus. Being one of the three Uthurren triplets, she has become the most rowdy of them all; climbing trees, roughhousing with her sisters, and occasionally getting herself injured, only to be fine after 15-30 minutes, depending on the severity. As she grew older, she learned to respect the elders and laws of the pack, knowing that if she didn’t, she would either be the laughing stock of the pack, or be an outcast. As she grew to her teen years, she was taken in as an apprentice and learned how to fight. Since she was still learning her mutations, it took her some time to learn her own fighting style and her strength, as well as learning about herself as a whole. As she was training with her mentor, she finally figured out how to partially shift into her prowling shift. The mentor praised her, moving her to higher forms of training. It was then she learned how to spar, trying different kinds of weapons. The young Uthurren chose a wooden stick, or a stave, as her father called it, and sparred against the mentor, then her father. It was clear what her weapon of choice was then. As adulthood came into play, she grew more and more attentive to what was happening with her pack. Making her rounds, and checking up on the pack members, as well as her parents. She became more and more in tune with the pack, and eventually began to lead some of the hunts and fights. Once she turned to her 60s, it was like her entire life turned around, becoming more hellish, well, in her eyes, it did. Yansa had to make a week’s run, leaving the pack for some errands and explorations to be done. Little did she know, her pack had to make an emergency re-location, leaving her and only her behind. As she returned, she only found the deserted pack base, assuming it was a struggle. The place looked completely trashed and destroyed. She frantically searched through-out the base, shaking and calling out for anyone. It was then she knew they left her, unable to let her know where they were relocating to, and how to tell Yansa. After finding out the truth, she left, a lone wolf depending on herself. She spent years on her own, surviving, finding shelter, fending for herself. Yansa was changed then, becoming more isolated and almost passive-aggressive towards others. She also became more touchy with her items, not letting anyone touch them unless given approval, and even that is difficult. Yansa’s lost trust with most people, seeing as how she’s trusted them during her “lone-wolf” adventures. As she hit her late 70s, she met a werebeast named Connak Fayden after a failed Blind Date, hosted by Sib, your favourite local Orc. After speaking for many months, turning into years, they grew closer, marrying maybe within the year mark. He had spoken to her about his faith, the Old Gods. After consideration, she decided to join Connak in his faith, seeming forever more happier.
Approved, but do note that Yansa wouldn't have access to her abilities at such a young age, so please remove them from the list. Age her up to 16 or so if you want to RP out the powers listed, but only then.
Please list whether it is active or inactive. Werebeasts/vampires harbor very little respect for religion. It is a bit strange to find someone with an exist affliction worshipping what is essentially a void religion. Another point of contention is the life story which I find incredibly lacking given how old the character is. Please try to summarize the details of their life in about five to four detailed paragraphs. My advice would be consider the schools that exist, background information, where they were born and who, what their family was like to mold them early on and justify why they have what proficiencies/beliefs. Tag me and highlight edits when you're done, sunshine.
I was working on the storyline as soon as I realized I forgot about it haha! My computer has been having a few problems lately, however, so it'll be maybe a day or two more. I will update these issues as soon as possible!
Make sure to cover the other points which I made. The biggest point of contention is void worship on an exist afflicted character. Werebeasts do not really follow religion, with the exception of the wolf line which are more pagan leaning.
Your proficiency is incorrect. Read the whole proficiency page to be brought up to speed with the new update and terminology.
Clarify point spread like for instance- +10 Sailing Arts (+5 Hobby, +5 Racial Boost) +10 Sword Combat (+10 Points) +10 Perception Training (+5 Points, +5 Talent) +10 Bodycare (+5 Points, +5 Talent) It's not easy to read when it's simply stated without any clarification.
Okay so I see where I messed up! I multiplied the Perception by 2, thinking Perception was a strength prof, when I infact read in wrong. Did I miss anything else? @HydraLana
You didn't do what Caelamus requested. At current, I don't know how or where you're assigning your points from Racial Boosts, Hobby Points or Talent Points. Please do as he stated. Linguistics is no longer done in increments of 5, it is now 3s. Please fix this. https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Science_Skill_Category#Linguistic_Science This is wholly wrong. Fin'ullen Altalar are capped at 25, and you don't have 41 Body Stat anyway. Please make all the needed adjustments. Overall, I'd heavily advise you re-read, in full, the Proficiencies and the updates surrounding them. https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Proficiency Tag me once you are done and confident you've fixed the application.
I have fixed the body stat, which was a mistake on my end as I forgot to change that earlier. Linguistics is changed, and I stated where it is only Hobby and Talent points used on both of those, even though it's stated, above the two, as Talent Profs and Hobby Profs. @HydraLana
The total of points spent here is 61, rather than 50. Even if there was a Racial Boost involved, that would still be too many points. Please redo your Proficiencies to reflect the 50 point limit.
You have spent 51 points of your available Proficiency Points, please subtract one point to confirm to the limit. This Physical Stat calculation is wrong, please update it based on the information in the Proficiency section. Your section on special traits is lacking the abilities granted by +10 in Bodycare as well as other Proficiency investments, please update this information to represent the Proficiency update. Her faith toward the Old Gods is a bit confusing to me given that she is a Fin'ullen, please expand on how/why she has the faith she does in her Life Story section. Tag me once the edits are done in green @GhostMousie