Decided to update this hearty bastard. In reality, I am more just adding another paragraph to his life story, to show what has occured so far, with minor edits to everything else. Here is the approved app that I am updating (in a sense): http://forums.massivecraft.com/threads/caren-rawood-2nd-attempt.20351/ Basic Information Caren Rawood is a 49 year-old Ailor male Caren was born in Daendroc, as a single child to his mother, Isabel, and his father, Jacob. He was raised in Daenshore. Caren has no primary residence, instead traveling all over. However, while in Regalia, he 'takes up residence' outside the Temple of the Old Gods. The one thing that Caren wants the most is to see the entire world, to explore. Visual Information Body Description Caren has an unusually large build for a human, at 6 foot 7 inches, with 264 solid pounds of muscle, comparable to that of a small orc. While this is uncommon, Caren embraces his abnormality, and often uses it to his advantage Caren's skin tone is rather standard for someone from Daendroc, being an orangish-yellow. However, it has paled slightly, from his time spent inflicted with the Sanguine Curse. He has a large scar running down his back, and a ragged birthmark on his chest. As odd as it may be, Caren has relatively little body hair. What few bits he does have is on his underarms and his....(lets fill in the blank) Head Description Caren has a rather squarish head, with a pronounced chin, and a relatively flat forehead. His nose has an odd look, from the repeated breaking of it. He typically looks rather stern, with a set-in-stone look on his face. Caren has a scar running from his ear to the back of his neck, from a childhood incident with an overly-playful wolf cub and its not-so-playful mother. Caren has sea-blue eyes, with a glare that feels cold andpiercing. His hair is a dirty blonde, in an unkempt, shaggy style. He never saw a need to 'refine' it, and leaves it this way, with the exception of cutting it once in a while. Clothing/Other Caren is wearing a self-made set of clothing, consisting of various animal skins dyed, refined, and stitched together. When first making these, he was not very adept at such things, and the clothing has a shaggy, thrown-together look, while in actuality, has been redone many times, the stitching iron-tight. Also attached to the clothing are thick leather strips in various places, which he attaches to his armor. On his travels, he bought a cloak supposedly made of northern ur skin. Over time, it has been stained and dirtied, with the white going to a slight grey and sometimes black color. Caren wears a belt, which bears a clip to hold his axe close to his person. It was his father's work belt, and was one of the few things he still carries with him from his original life. The first thing Caren did upon arrival in Regalia is purchase a suit of full-plate armor. He had custom work done on it to attach to his clothing. This left him near-broke, but it didn't really matter to him. Personality Calm: Caren very rarely breaks out into true anger, and is often calm and collected in his thoughts. This often comes across as sarcastic and rude to others, whether he means it to be or not. Honourable: Caren strives to follow his own sense of honour, that which he picked up from children's stories while he was young. He will not kill an unarmed opponent, and will only fight if the other person attacks first, challenges him, or they accept his challenge. This can often lead to an all scale battle, as his manner of speaking often angers the other person, provoking an attack. At that, Caren goes all out, willing to obliterate his 'opponent'. Critical: Caren often points out the flaws in others before fully admitting to his own. While he is just trying to be helpful, he can come across as an a**. This, combined with his collective speaking, makes it extremely difficult to socialize with others. Non-sexual: As Caren is infertile, he sees no reason to engage in sexual activities, although he will flirt with women, on occasion. This gives him a generally straightforward attitude when regarding gender conflicts, not caring about either side very much. Logical: Normally, Caren will observe a situation before intervening, often trying to figure out the problem purely through observation. When he believes he has figured it out, Caren will side with whoever he believes is correct in the matter. This, with his stubborness, makes him an extremely dependable and loyal ally, even if they are completely and horridly wrong. Mentally Durable: Due to the emotional toil of traveling alone, Caren has a surprising resilience to exclusion. While normally, people with his attitude would despise such a thing, Caren seems to embrace solitude, often taking the time to think. Stubborn: Caren seems to think that once he says something, it is correct. While realizes that he is extremely stubborn, he refuses to even attempt to change, stating it makes him unique. This represents the stubborness that he openly admits to. Even when he realizes he is wrong, this can lead to him sticking to a side he does not fully support. Quiet: While he enjoys a good fight, it is uncommon for Caren to break into a conversation, or even start one. He tends to wait for a person to approach him, instead. Likes Caren often enjoys a good drink, frequently visiting the tavern while in or near Regalia. One of the games he would play with himself is to see how much it takes for him to pass out. Caren finds great enjoyment out of fighting others, just to test himself. While this may be a side effect of his upbringing, he finds that there is no greater rush than the threat of your life being taken away in battle. As of recent times, Caren has developed a fondness for demons. He has yet to figure out why, but feels a longing to learn about them. He is aware of what they are and what they do, but he finds them fascinating. Magic is one of the things that Caren adores, but struggles with immensely. However ironic it may be, he finds himself looking more and more into light magic, often reading through the old books he finds on his travels. Dislikes Caren once despised nobles for their arrogance. However, as of late, he has found that his disdain for them has begun to settle, to the point where he does not care for them, one way or another. He finds enjoyment out of poking fun at them, still. Caren dislikes orcs and ur, as they are the only ones who can best him in a fight. He finds the entire concept of them to be idiocy, although this is probably his jealousy of such strength in their natural form. Caren has a particular place in his heart for vampire and demon hunters. His thoughts are that to hunt something down, purely because of what it is, is disgraceful and dishonourable. Weak alcohol. While not hated, it isn't fun when you want to drink, and find it takes a lot more than it should, just to pass out. Caren's size and build makes most drinks 'weak' for him. Strengths Caren is extremely strong and durable from countless years of travel and battle against nature, the beasts of the wild, and the magical world. Waiting and thinking, two good things to do before entering a fight. Is it really worth it? While the answer is almost always yes, Caren thinks through his 'plan of attack' Caren is capable of speaking a quite a few languages, among them being common, a bit of orcish, daendroquin (or however its spelt), and, his favorite, elvish. Weaknesses Caren has a large scar running down his back, and extending physical activities can cause him large amounts of pain due to it. With his sense of honour, Caren is susceptible to underhand tactics, such as striking when an opponent turns their back. This led to the large scar running down his back. Caren has an absurd amount of difficulty wielding a bow. His last attempt wound up with a snapped bowstring and a very angry merchant. Combat Style While in combat, Caren will often opt for a full assault, determined to overwhelm the enemy with pure strength and blows. While this works a large amount of the time, should it fail, Caren will continue to try, often determined to out-last his opponent. He usually opens with an overhead slash, which leads into several swipes at the enemy's sides. Caren continues to seemingly wildly slash at the enemy, while, in reality, he is carefully aiming and swinging at the most exposed points of his foe. It is his hope that, among the relentless blows, the enemy will not be able to strike back, as he rushes in with no defense. Weapon of Choice A large war-axe, single-sided, about 38 pounds in weight. A basic broadsword, homeforged, with a rusted look. He made it on his own, and rarely uses it. He is attempting to learn to use a new weapon, the scythe. Still poor with it, Caren hopes to improve. Relationships Lithiel Everlast - The first person he met when he arrived in Regalia. She had been kidnapped, and helped her get back to the temple. Considered a friend. Regalian Guard - Whether it was because of his game, a fight, or disrespecting a nobleman or guard, Caren has wound up jailed quite a few times. He is recognized by a large portion of the guard, but is known by them to often willingly submit to the jailing, making things easier. Life Story Caren was born in a small cabin in what is now Daenshore, to Isabel and Jacob Blackthorn, who lived off on their own. Life was harsh, and Caren was forced to grow up quickly, or be ruined in the not-so-child-friendly environment. By the age of 8, Caren was working as hard as most of the age of 15, and working hard to make his father proud. His toys were hammers and axes, and he did not think that there was anything else to life. By 15, he was doing most of the physical work of his home, as his father had gotten sick with Arnok's Illness. While it would be easier to cure in the larger cities, Caren and his family had no idea what to do, as they were quite literally out in the middle of nowhere. Shortly later, his mother contracted it, and they both passed away. Stuck alone in the wilderness at 16, Caren did the smartest thing he could; he gathered a few things of various importance to him, buried the only two people he ever knew, and left. So began Caren's life of travel. Over many years, he picked up skills of the trade, and various methods of fighting. But one night changed his life. He was 20, and while staying at a tavern in Ceardia, he was attacked by a bandit, and very nearly lost his life. While being held hostage at knife point, he realized his lust for battle. His senses were sharper, and he felt raw, unrestrained power course through his limbs. Caren continued onward, determined to find a worthy fight for himself. The would-be thief stepped aside, deciding not to aggravate the clearly-delusional giant. By day, he walked along, with no idea as to where he was going. By night, he trained, read, and slept, determined to be at his best every day. On his travels, Caren came across many old and dusty books, written in what seemed to be nonsense. With a new treasure in his hand, he traveled onward, and would later learn what the books contained. Years passed, and Caren traveled and learned many things. Caren went from one side of the world to the other, never satisfied. But he had decided saved the best for last; nicknamed the Capital of the World, Regalia. While visiting for the first time, he met an old man by the name of Alforn, who was able to assist him with deciphering the books. Through the constant mumbling, he was able to pick out that they were spell tomes for light magic, which taught the reader how to summon barriers of solid light, and how to use basic healing light on others. With many thanks to the old man, Caren departed, headed for the Temple of the Old Gods. While visiting, he came across a woman by the name of Lithiel Everlast, who had escaped from her kidnappers home. Dismayed, he offered to help her home, before she announced that she resided in the Temple*! The two conversed for the night, discussing various ideas about the faith of the old gods. At last, at the age of 43, Caren had seen the world. From elven to orcish cultures, dwarven caves, and statues of Hael, Caren finely decided to pick a spot to stay. Of course, this did not stop his traveling. But it provided a central point to which he would often return to. And it provided many life experiences as well. Right after turning 48, Caren was celebrating (alone) and got ridiculously drunk. While wandering the various streets and alleyways of Regalia, he passed out. Upon awaking, he found that someone had taken all of his regals, and felt extremely weak. After that, it was a horrifying transition into being a vampire. Caren knew fully well how the guard treated vampires, and worked harder than ever to avoid being caught. After a few weeks within the city, he fled one night, determined not to come back until his 'issue' could be solved. Skip a year of running, killing & feeding, remorse, more running, and we arrive at Caren's return to the city, after he had heard that vampires were now being offered a choice; execution, or a cure. The news that he wouldn't be immediately killed was amazing! He approached the guard, asking for the cure. After a bit of over-roughness from the guards, Caren was directed to a light mage, and the process of returning to a semi-normal life in the anything-but-normal world began. He caused a bit of trouble before it was all complete, but was not actually caught for anything. A few days (4) of purifying, and he finally walked outside, to feel the sun on his face... when the after-effects of curing hit him; it was hard to get a full breath in, everything hurt, and he had a desperate craving for carrots and mint leaves. And this is where the story continues..... *This is what I was told at the time. I don't know whether she was a priest or what.
Greetings @Rainbowdash! Thank you for your patience. Living within the temple of the Old Gods? Something tells me the priests wouldn’t appreciate that. Perhaps he bums outside of it? “The one thing that Caren wants most is a…” What is it? You can’t just leave this section blank. The personality traits “Calm” and “Violent” almost seem to contradict each other. I would consider revising them in some way. Considering your 4th like, do bear in mind that adept swordsmen cannot become skilled mages and vice-versa, as one must devote themselves entirely to a their magic training. You need to have 4 dislikes. You currently have 3. I don’t really find being good at reading to be a personality oriented strength. I would look into another. The inability to start or maintain conversation is most certainly not a combat oriented weakness. Do change this. A 65 pound battle axe that’s wielded with a single hand seems a bit iffy to me. Perhaps editing it so that it weighs less? Tag me when you have finished these edits. And if it helps, you can take a look at the example application here. Pending!
@catcat1305 - Done most of the edits, but some comments and questions about a few of them. Living within the temple of the Old Gods? Something tells me the priests wouldn’t appreciate that. Perhaps he bums outside of it? I'll change it if you think that, but I would imagine that a priest would welcome another follower of the Old Gods, especially in a city filled with Unionists (Unionites?)? Again, if you disagree, I'll change it. You know more than I do, I won't argue that. Considering your 4th like, do bear in mind that adept swordsmen cannot become skilled mages and vice-versa, as one must devote themselves entirely to a their magic training. Fully aware. The inability to start or maintain conversation is most certainly not a combat oriented weakness. Do change this. The combat-oriented is the scar down his back? A 65 pound battle axe that’s wielded with a single hand seems a bit iffy to me. Perhaps editing it so that it weighs less? Agreed. Toning it down to more swing-able levels. Never changed the weight, it was originally 2-handed.
The Old Gods temple of Regalia is (obviously) considered a sacred and holy place by the devout worshippers of the Old Gods. Allowing a random peasant to sleep in their sacred temple simply seems a bit off. Secondly, the weaknesses are listed as followed. Spoiler Physical oriented weakness, for example intimidating posture, clumsy nature, two left feet, bad sense of balance etc. Personality oriented weakness, for example Emotionally unstable, indecisive, naive, easy to abuse etc. Combat oriented weakness, for example weak sword arms, clumsy bow handling, bad at fighting, cowardly etc. Reorganize them to match that list and you'll be perfect.
